"Dear Miss Manners, Am I obliged to respond to the gentlemen I encounter on 'Grindr,' even if I am not in the least bit interested?"
Dan counsels yet another woman who lays herself down as a human doormat. DTMFA! If your man hasn't yet told his friends that he's dating you, it's time to move on.
On the Magnum, we have a very special What You Got?: Listen, we can't put this delicately. There are birds out there that prefer to have sex with cowpies over the females of their species. Dan interviews Dr. Gail Patricelli, a (delightful) researcher who studies the freaky sage grouse. She and her scientist pals trick these pathetic birds with robots and round flat turds. So that's a job you could have.
And, a woman insists that uncircumcised penises feel better inside than cut ones. Could be!