Love and sex advice from
Dan Savage
America’s sweetheart
Explore by
Filter by year

Women in gay bars. We have a problem.

Episode #565 — August 22, 2017

What do you do when your best friend is dating a con man? A woman has been with her boyfriend for a year. He has a key to her apartment, and regularly lets himself in when she isn't there, even though she told him not to. How big of a problem do we have here? On the Magnum, Dan talks to Alexander Cheves who published a controversial article in The Advocate about what place, if any, women have in gay bars. And, a woman's best friend also happens to be her step-mother. (Same age though.) How can the caller counsel her pal on how to improve her sex life...with her father? 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Jon Ronson on bespoke porn and sexy stamps.

Episode #561 — July 25, 2017

A gay man hooked up with a hot guy- great lover. But his micro-penis made the caller wonder if his lover was perhaps a transman. Should he ask him? Does it matter? A man's ten year-old son has come out as gay. The worried father bemoans his child's fate living on the "margins of society." Dan issues a reality check and a rebuke. It's 2017 dad, not the 1800s. "Margins of Society" indeed... On the Magnum, Jon Ronson, author of "The Psychopath Test" is on to talk about "bespoke pornography" and confirms the maxim: "Everything is a thing." Also, if your boyfriend calls you a monster for learning that you are into hardcore porn, (after SNOOPING ON YOUR PHONE,) can the relationship be salvaged? Should it be? 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Buck Angel!

Episode #559 — July 11, 2017

If your Tinder guy can't get it up, should you move on, or give him a chance? A woman is dating a man 13 years her senior. Is this sort of age difference inherently immoral because...Woody Allen? On the Magnum, a deep dive into trans world with Buck Angel (a.k.a. The Man with a Pussy.) He is simply wonderful, and you must listen. 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Blow jobs and TMJ

Episode #550 — May 9, 2017

A couple of ex-Mormons started dating. He broke up with her because she wasn't "nice." But don't worry everybody- he immediately came back to her. Then he broke up with her again, because he's gay. But it's ok! He changed his mind on that as well and came back to her. Now he isn't sure if he wants to be with her because of her jealousy issues. Ah, true love. A 13 year-old girl came out as gay to her mother, who easily accepts this. But grandma! She's a big ole Christian homophobe. Should the caller out her daughter to her mother? Even if the daughter doesn't want her to? On the Magnum, a man's wife has TMJ, and so can't give oral sex for very long. Dan chats with Dr. Michael Plaut who has written extensively on the subject. And, remember Dan's open rant on "stealthers?" Hear the horrible tale of a stealther in action. 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

When your partner has BPD.

Episode #540 — February 28, 2017

A woman's 61 year-old father confided that he has discovered kink. Should she help to connect him to kink resources when she herself is vanilla, and also...his daughter? A man worries that his attraction to East-Indian women might be racist. Dan helps unpack the complicated issues around attraction to specific races. On the Magnum, Dan talks with Randi Kreger, author and expert on Borderline Personality Disorder about dating someone with this unpleasant condition. And, all hail the Cuck-Queen! Dan chats with a woman who gets off on her husband sleeping with other women. Dan instructs her on the alchemical art of turning jealousy into lust.
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

The pleasures and dangers of choking.

Episode #533 — January 10, 2017

A man's friend came out when they were in high school. Now after a sojourn to the desert to "pray away the gay" the tortured closet case is "church hunting for a bride." Can his pal talk him out of this? A woman's co-worker tried to kiss her at work, despite her unrelentingly professional demeanor, and complete lack of interest. Now they have to go on a work trip together. How can she bat him away? Should she skip the trip? On the Magnum, Dan chats with a kink expert about choking. Anybody have some better words for pussy than...pussy? 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Nancy weighs in.

Episode #532 — January 3, 2017

A 45 year-old man has observed his 21 year-old niece putting up suggestive pics on Instagram. Would it be the correct avuncular gesture to talk to his niece about the folly of her actions? Meanwhile, a woman's boyfriend's cousin called her a "fuckin' bitch" when she wrecked him at laser tag. Her boyfriend won't defend her honor. Who will? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan counsels a woman sick with jealousy over her boyfriend's unilateral decision to have an open relationship. 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

With the Liberal Redneck!

Episode #519 — October 4, 2016

Dan welcomes Trae Crowder, or "the Liberal Redneck" (our favorite redneck) to tackle some questions about conservative Christian bigots, guns and spit. It's a great conversation- do have a listen. Also, a lesbian is dismayed that her girlfriend insists she take a shower every time they have sex. Is she a germophobe or... what? And, a man's girlfriend has announced that she wants to take up smoking. Nicotine. Not even weed. Why? Because her father smoked. AND, a man working on a political campaign wants to fuck his intern. Good idea? Bad idea? These campaigns can be STRESSFUL, man. 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Parents: You are being JUDGED.

Episode #515 — September 6, 2016

A bi man in a poly triad wonders how to bring home his couple to meet the conservative parents. A woman enjoys following men around for the feeling of "predatory power" the pursuit gives her. Is this a problem? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Professor Barbara Sarnecka, in a "What You Got?" showing how uptight our society is about leaving children alone. The study is HERE. And, while on a trip to NYC, and gay man finds someone he knows from back home on Grindr. When he contacted the friend to say "Hi there!" the friend disappeared and blocked him. Awkward? 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

With Tegan and Sara

Episode #511 — August 9, 2016

A young man living at home is getting blamed for his father's second divorce. That sounds like kind of a raw deal doesn't it? A man is in a GREAT relationship with his girlfriend. It's SO AWESOME. Except when she gets drunk and verbally abuses him. So there's that. On the Magnum, Dan chats with identical twin, queer, pop-star heart-throbs, Tegan and Sara about online dating, and what to do with that bottle of conditioner your ex left behind in the shower. A man and his wife are going through hard times. Thank goodness for Linda, his mother-in-law who is there to help. Except...she's always there! How can our caller carve out some Linda-free time to fuck his wife already? 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now