Love and sex advice from
Dan Savage
America’s sweetheart
Explore by
Filter by year

The science of DTMFA.

Episode #564 — August 15, 2017

A seemingly kind man only gets off when his girlfriend is in pain. She noticed this and plays it up to please him. Don't tell him this, but she isn't in pain. She loves it. But what if her acting skills fail? A woman has started dating a man who travels a lot and has a girlfriend in every city. Should she join his sprawling harem? On the Magnum, Dan interviews Dr. Samantha Joel, in a "What You Got?" about the psychology of what make someone finally decide to end a relationship. And, a woman gets cold easily and likes to wear socks during sex. Her lovers tell her to take them off, because...visuals. Dan enlists science to defend this shivering lass. 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Where are the kinky parties?

Episode #555 — June 13, 2017

A woman is engaged to be married. She has been with about 80 lovers, and he has never been with anyone but her. He begs her to tell him all about her adventures to the point of obsession. Why does he wants to hear it all, and does she have to tell him? A man with a roommate feels like he's living with our horrible president: i.e. rich, entitled, lazy and mean. How can he convince this brute's girlfriend that she can do better? On the Magnum, a man wishes LA had the kind of kinky parties that NYC has. Whip smart dominatrix Justine Cross explains how to find the best sex parties and how BEHAVE YOURSELF when you get there. After a painful break up and move-out, a man is dismayed to see his ex-girlfriend's car parked in his apartment complex. Why? Because she's probably FUCKING SOMEONE IN HIS BUILDING. 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Nathaniel Frank on gay marriage.

Episode #552 — May 23, 2017

A straight male weight-lifter likes to shave his chest and pits. His friends are giving him grief about it. How can this sensitive strongman get over the peer pressure and revel in his smooth, smooth body? A gay man's foster son has had a rough life. And now he realizes they are both on Grindr. Awkward? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Nathaniel Frank, author of Awakening: How Gays and Lesbians Brought Marriage Equality to America. And, a woman's sister used to be in an abusive relationship, which she kept hidden. Now she's got a new guy, and guess what? He's a creep! Should the caller speak up? 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

So many sex toys!

Episode #551 — May 16, 2017

A man and a woman used to date, but now they're just friends. The woman got married and doesn't want her rich husband to know that she used to date the caller. Is it because she's embarrassed that the caller doesn't make enough money? From three-way to third wheel...a gay man with a long term boyfriend opened up their relationship to bring on another man. But now the boyfriend is getting closer and closer to the new guy. Do we have a problem here? On the Magnum, Dan chats with our go-to sex toy expert Erica Moen, to discuss "a whole bunch of dildos," a comprehensive round-up of anal lubes, and a toy for women with a misguided name. And, a Jewish woman wonders if it's racist to donate her eggs to a couple that wants a Jewish donor. 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Blow jobs and TMJ

Episode #550 — May 9, 2017

A couple of ex-Mormons started dating. He broke up with her because she wasn't "nice." But don't worry everybody- he immediately came back to her. Then he broke up with her again, because he's gay. But it's ok! He changed his mind on that as well and came back to her. Now he isn't sure if he wants to be with her because of her jealousy issues. Ah, true love. A 13 year-old girl came out as gay to her mother, who easily accepts this. But grandma! She's a big ole Christian homophobe. Should the caller out her daughter to her mother? Even if the daughter doesn't want her to? On the Magnum, a man's wife has TMJ, and so can't give oral sex for very long. Dan chats with Dr. Michael Plaut who has written extensively on the subject. And, remember Dan's open rant on "stealthers?" Hear the horrible tale of a stealther in action. 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Cuckolding with Ben Steel.

Episode #548 — April 25, 2017

A man has been with his lady for one year. She has lost her sex drive, and asks for him to find ways to limit his libido. Should they try counseling? Meditation? Chemical castration? Or maybe there's another option... A gay man and his straight friend used to fool around together when they were children. After a long silence, the straight friend has reemerged with a proposal to resume. It's a small town. There are aren't many gay people. The guy is totally hot. Should the gay man take him up on his offer? On the Magnum, sex and relationship expert Ben Steel welcomes you to his world of cuckolding. He and Dan discuss the alchemical process for turning jealousy into a big horny turn-on. And, a treatise on nipple stimulation. 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Cannibal Cop

Episode #543 — March 21, 2017

A woman's father is planning to go to Russia to fetch his new mail-order bride. How can the caller convince her delusional father that this is not such a good idea? Hear the sordid tale of the Ambien-befuddled, drunky, but also kind of hot step-mother who came on to her step-son in a most aggressive and lascivious way. Now that some years have passed should the caller seek redress? On the Magnum, remember the "Cannibal Cop?" He was the NYPD cop who chatted with his buddies about plans to kidnap, kill and eat ladies. And now he's an author! Dan interviews co-author Brian Whitney about the book, and the...unsavory issues it raises. A woman is dating a man who is so jealous that he insisted that she get rid of her bed, sheets, pillows- everything associated with a previous lover. And guess what? She did it! 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

When your partner has BPD.

Episode #540 — February 28, 2017

A woman's 61 year-old father confided that he has discovered kink. Should she help to connect him to kink resources when she herself is vanilla, and also...his daughter? A man worries that his attraction to East-Indian women might be racist. Dan helps unpack the complicated issues around attraction to specific races. On the Magnum, Dan talks with Randi Kreger, author and expert on Borderline Personality Disorder about dating someone with this unpleasant condition. And, all hail the Cuck-Queen! Dan chats with a woman who gets off on her husband sleeping with other women. Dan instructs her on the alchemical art of turning jealousy into lust.
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Poly Life with Cunning Minx

Episode #537 — February 7, 2017

A man's girlfriend moved to NYC to become a ballerina. But instead she's been boozing and eating food! Is it his place to tell her that ballerinas don't actually, you know, eat? A transwoman has moved heaven and earth to get herself through college, despite her parents cutting her off. But then! Her school sent their choir to sing at You Know Who's inauguration. She's considering dropping out in protest. Don't worry, Dan talks her out of it. On the Magnum, welcome to Poly Land! Dan chats with Cunning Minx, from the Polyamory Weekly podcast about the joys and pitfalls of poly living, complete with strategies for keeping your head together. If you are curious about how the poly folk get all their loving done, then be sure to tune in. Also, a woman is horrified to discover that her new boyfriend is pathologically messy. 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

The dark tale of the Nazi Granny.

Episode #529 — December 13, 2016

A woman is living at her boyfriend's house with his parents while he is away. Guess what! The dad has started kissing her on the mouth and tries to slip her the tongue. Should she tell her boyfriend that his father is a loathsome fiend? Speaking of loathsome fiends, a woman's boyfriend is so obsessed with her keeping slim that he snatches food out of her mouth and tosses it on the floor. Any ideas what she should do? In a "What You Got?" a researcher discusses his study about men who are attracted to transwomen. What's your grandmother like? Well, this caller's grandmother, (originally from Germany,) still admires Adolf Hitler. The nazi granny lives in a senior home, and the caller is charged with bringing her groceries. What would you do? Welcome to our wonderful world. 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now