Parents, hear this cautionary tale: A man has been in his loving, kinky, poly marriage for 21 years. His wife accidentally clicked the wrong button and synched up her super gnarly BDSM pics onto her 9 year-old daughter's phone. So now there's some 'splaining to do.
A woman lives in an apartment building in NYC. At first, her neighbor appeared to be really nice! Then he started sending her dick pics with his infant in the background.
On the Magnum:
"Honey? What would you like for your birthday?" This innocent question, asked by a 70 year old woman of her 80 year-old husband was answered thusly: "Why, I would like 2 Asian ladies to bath me, please." (We added the "please" in this reenactment.) Godsmacked, Dan enlists the help of comedian, writer and creator of The Daily Show Lizz Winstead to help answer.
And, Dan counsels a miserable man, who is still heartbroken 6 months after being vaguely, but gently dumped by a woman he had enjoyed three dates with. (We considered playing a sad violin underneath his call, but Dan wouldn't let us.)