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Sex Crying and Drag Pronouns

On the Magnum: Julie Klausner from "Schmigadoon!"
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A midwife has recently learned that people who were born with a tongue-tie might have trouble giving oral sex later in life. Should she advise new parents to get their newborns surgery on their itty-bitty little baby tongues? A woman has started crying during sex, and not the joyful release kind of crying. She has … Read More »

With Samantha Cole on Sex and the Internet.

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A woman remembers with shame how she reacted when her then-boyfriend came out to her as bisexual. She hasn’t talked to him in 9 years and wants to apologize. Should she? How?  For you sci-fi pervs, what happens to the “eggs” that get deposited with an ovipositor dildo?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Samantha … Read More »

Don’t ghost. Hire a ghost writer to break up for you.

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Ah Valentine’s Day. This year, Dan will finally teach you how keep it spicy…very, very spicy. Let’s tuck in. Inevitable Divorce: A man with a history of divorce in his family was chatting with a friend about how he would consider marriage when he could afford to get divorced. But his boyfriend of 3 years … Read More »

With “Ask a Sub’s” Lina Dune.

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Have you ever lost a dildo up your butt? This man has, but somehow the tale ends up as our opening “sexcess” story. A 51 year-old woman is seeing a 33 year-old man. It’s fantastic, but how long can it last? On the Magnum, Dan brings back Lina Dune, from “Ask a Sub” to talk … Read More »

Yes, Vasectomies Are Safe.

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Dan! Dan! My dildos melted together in the drawer! Horrifically, this is not uncommon if you buy cheap-ass sex toys. A gay man is establishing a potentially great friends-with-benefits relationship. The problem? The guy won’t stop sending him stupid little memes all the damn day long. How can our caller put an end to this … Read More »

Insta-Apocalypse with JoEllen Notte.

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Ah, the pleasures of getting rimmed! But what if you are alone, during quarantine times? Is there a sex toy out there to help a lass get off? Starting in kindergarten, a woman began masturbating using a very specific and very odd technique. Now she needs to do this, and she’s super-embarrassed about it. How … Read More »

With Cameron Esposito!

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A gay man was hooking up at a bathhouse. His brand new lover wanted to bring a little romance into the encounter by saying the caller’s name and complimenting him. The caller was horrified. Isn’t bathhouse sex supposed to be anonymous? Meanwhile, in another corner of our universe, a woman is appalled that her boyfriend … Read More »

Michael Hobbes on Human Trafficking Hysteria

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Why, oh why (bemoans this woman,) is it that the indie, cool, female-owned sex stores never carry dildos that are big enough for her? WHY?! A gay man has been invited to be the man of honor at his sister’s wedding. But you know what’s weird? The sister is marrying a racist, anti-gay creep who … Read More »

Dental Dams Spoiler Alert! (Nobody Uses Them.)

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A woman’s boyfriend used to achieve orgasm with ease. But now he can’t come from penetration. The caller worries that in her boyfriend’s eyes, she has become the madonna, when she used to be the whore. Dan speaks with a bisexual man, whose first attempt at unicorning (yes, we verbbed the word “unicorn,”) went poorly, … Read More »

So many sex toys!

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A man and a woman used to date, but now they’re just friends. The woman got married and doesn’t want her rich husband to know that she used to date the caller. Is it because she’s embarrassed that the caller doesn’t make enough money? From three-way to third wheel…a gay man with a long term … Read More »