Love and sex advice from
Dan Savage
America’s sweetheart
Explore by
Filter by year

Ask a Mortician!

Episode #725 — September 15, 2020

A woman was babysitting her neighbor's 3 year-old daughter. The girl took her clothes off and started touching herself. Should the caller say something to the parents? Is this behavior a red flag for abuse? Or is this just how the 3 year-olds roll? A man with a very girthy penis can't come without extended penis-in-vagina action. But sometimes his ladies can't handle it. He started faking his orgasms. Any other solutions here? On the Magnum version of the show, Caitlin Doughty (host of Ask a Mortician on YouTube,) is on to discuss how the pandemic is changing the way we handle funerals, grieving and possible positive changes in the death industry. She is the most charming goth mortician you'll ever encounter. And, in the response calls, our ever-pragmatic listeners offer great suggestions on how to make a bed work for three people.
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

OK Boomer...

Episode #720 — August 11, 2020

A man's new boyfriend is really great in every way! Except...he believes in mythical creatures, thinks he has super-powers and that the government is communicating with him through the radio. So, should the caller leave his mentally ill new boyfriend or try to get him some help? Meanwhile, a woman's sister has started dating a "professional" astrologer who had gotten kicked out of the marines, believes in conspiracy theories and wants to move to Mexico with the caller's sister after dating for just a few months. How can the caller help her stubborn sister see all those red flags a'flappin'? On the Magnum, It's a generational battle royale! Dan chats with Jill Filipovic author of "Ok Boomer, Let's Talk" in a Millennial vs Boomer sex-advice smack down! (Just kidding. They agree on pretty much everything.) Filipovic's book goes into the ways the younger generations have been shafted by the olds. Time to seize power, youngun's! A bi man's boyfriend is being driven crazy by his new neighbor. She has noisy sex at all hours, disrupting the boyfriend's sleep and work life. Should they have ear-piercing retaliatory sex to teach her a lesson?
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Gays and Three-Ways with Jay Jurden.

Episode #716 — July 14, 2020

A young gay man is having a great time with his boyfriend who is 14 years older than him. Can it last? How? On the Magnum, be charmed by comedian Jay Jurden. We were. Jay and Dan talk about gays, three-ways and Catholic guilt, among other things. A woman has a fantasy of being "taken" by an older man with power over her. But wouldn't any man who acts this out with her be a total creep? Finally, are there dog toys sold in pet stores that are secretly meant to be sex toys? For humans?
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Michael Hobbes on Human Trafficking Hysteria

Episode #689 — January 7, 2020

Why, oh why (bemoans this woman,) is it that the indie, cool, female-owned sex stores never carry dildos that are big enough for her? WHY?! A gay man has been invited to be the man of honor at his sister's wedding. But you know what's weird? The sister is marrying a racist, anti-gay creep who has convinced her that the caller (and all gay people) are degenerates. So. Should our caller carry out his man of honor duties nonetheless? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with Michael Hobbes, co-host of the "You're Wrong About" podcast, about the misinformation swirling around the concept of human trafficking. And a 20 year-old woman is dating an older man. He wants to have kids one day. She is nowhere near considering such a thing. But when they have sex, she gets turned on by talking about getting knocked up. Is it unethical to engage in pregnancy dirty talk with a man who wants to be a dad?
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

With Sex Workers' Rights Advocate- Elle Stanger.

Episode #681 — November 12, 2019

A woman wants her boyfriend to pee inside of her. Cool, cool. But he is pee shy! How can he get over it? A woman and her man love threesomes with women. But they don't want kids. Should they warn their unicorn that if she happens to get knocked up they will have no part in the parenting of her kids? Sssssexy! On the Magnum, Dan chats with worker's rights advocate Elle Stanger about the ongoing disaster that is SESTA/FOSTA. A 21 year-old man and his lady both live with their parents, and they have no place to make sweet love. So they do it in the car. But they keep getting caught, once by the police. Is it time to demand some privacy at home? How?
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

It's the food poisoning episode!

Episode #677 — October 15, 2019

A woman has vowed to never date a Trump voter. But she lives in a small conservative town, and she's getting lonely... A woman did some sex work a couple years ago. She's dating someone new and wonders if, when or how to tell him. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Joan Price, author of "Naked at Our Age" about how to combat the effects of early menopause. Poor unicorn! Her couple broke up! Should she ask the lady in the (former) couple if she can continue to be with her ex? Awkward! 206-302-2064 Feel better Dan!
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Kink by Gender, with Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

Episode #673 — September 17, 2019

A married woman has just hosted her mother-in-law in their small apartment. After seeing her husband and his mother interact, she just doesn't fell like having any sex at all. How can she clear out the in-law vibes? Morning! A woman emerges from sleep in the full throes of an orgasm. But her dream was mundane and not even close to sexy. What in god's name is going on here? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Dr. Lehmiller of the Kinsey Institute about whether men and women are equally kinky. And, a young man wants to ask out a bunch of women at work. What is the best approach? 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Dental Dams Spoiler Alert! (Nobody Uses Them.)

Episode #672 — September 10, 2019

A woman's boyfriend used to achieve orgasm with ease. But now he can't come from penetration. The caller worries that in her boyfriend's eyes, she has become the madonna, when she used to be the whore. Dan speaks with a bisexual man, whose first attempt at unicorning (yes, we verbbed the word "unicorn,") went poorly, mainly due to his straight couple maybe getting a little too drunky? Anyway, next time will go better, brave unicorn! On the Magnum: Dental dams- Nobody uses them. That is the consensus illuminated by Anna Waters of The Atlantic. Also, Dan chats with Orna Guralnik- the shrink featured in the new docuseries "Couples Therapy."
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Second Opinion! With "Dear Therapist."

Episode #654 — May 7, 2019

A woman keeps getting told to go home after she hooks up in the middle of the night. Don't any of these gentleman know how to make breakfast? A woman has learned that her beloved aunt has been having a lesbian affair for decades. Some but not all of her family knows. Should the caller tell everyone? At family gatherings? Because she just can't keep her mouth shut? Will she heed Dan's stern advice? On the Magnum, a woman wonders if the best orgasm of her life, way back when she was 16, was due to her lover's tongue ring. Or was it the newness of teen lovin'? And, oh oh! It's time for a Second Opinion, with Lori Gottlieb- psychotherapist and author of the New York Times bestseller, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. She also writes the "Dear Therapist" advice column for The Atlantic, and thus is eligible to give advice alongside Dan. Together they give counsel to a woman who is trying to get her shit together in order to win back her man, and also to a woman who gets to enjoy the spectacle of her new neighbor rigorously masturbating in front of his window.
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now

Strap it on... with Tristan Taormino!

Episode #628 — November 6, 2018

A woman has been with her fiancé for 4 years. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, he's started moaning and groaning in bed like a porn starlet. Why the sudden vocalizations? IS HE CHEATING ON HER? An asexual, non-binary person feels like an invader when they show up at BDSM parties. Is it alright to join that community when you are uninterested in sex? On the Magnum, we are delighted to welcome back author, sex educator and bitter podcasting rival Tristan Taormino. She and Dan discuss strap-ons, and how to peg your partner real good. Two HIV negative gay men have been together for 5 years. They started acting out role-play scenes where one infects the other. It's been super hot, but the caller is uncomfortable even pretending such a thing. He is old enough to remember the worst days of AIDs. Is this role play ok? Or a thought crime? Do whatchoo wanna. 206-302-2064
Magnum Episode
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now
Subscribe to the Magnum
Ad-free episodes with exclusive extended content
Subscribe now