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Mistress Velvet COMMANDS you...

Episode #719 — August 4, 2020

Our opening covid-19 "sexcess" story is extra special this week. You will never think of Tollhouse cookies the same way again. Don't you hate it when your brother-in-law steals your underpants, and uses them to jack off? This little sordid story only gets worse. On the Magnum, meet the dominatrix who forces her clients to read Black feminist theory. Mistress Velvet and Dan discuss performative wokeness, allies vs. accomplices, and the transformative power of S&M among many other things. Mistress Velvet knows her shit. Obey her and listen in. And a woman and her boyfriend keep breaking the bed! Is there a bed frame out there that can withstand this couple's vigorous rutting?
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What about the gay penguins?

Episode #698 — March 10, 2020

Sometimes people call us when they're drunk. Sometimes they call us about their dogs. Welcome to the center of this Venn diagram. A woman has been invited to a "costume wedding." She will be required to dress up like a character in a movie. Is this asking too much? On the Magnum version of the show, it's a super-weird "What You Got?" with an evolutionary reproductive biologist who mulls over the *possibility* that the animal kingdom is teeming with same-sex behavior. Not just the homo penguins. And, a young woman is turned on by much older men. How can she score a silver fox without looking like gold digger?
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With former white supremacist Christian Picciolini.

Episode #669 — August 20, 2019

A 76 year-old woman wonders if everyone is doing polyamory these days, or if there are any monogamous couples left. A woman's twin brother has become a white supremacist, and is getting sucked in to a very scary community. Dan brings on Christian Picciolini, who himself was recruited and eventually left the white power movement. He now combats extreme hate groups, with a message compassion and understanding. On the Magnum, Dan chats with writer Zachary Zane, on the challenges and resources for coming out as a bi man. And, a woman works form home in her group house. One of her housemates has wall quaking, floor rumbling, howling, caterwauling, noisy sex at all hours, sometimes while the caller is on a work call. When confronted the housemate says she won't stop. Is it time to move out, or just live with it
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Weed = Better Orgasms for Women. Yay Science!

Episode #650 — April 9, 2019

Look at her. She's only a lesbian when she's drunk! Why does she dream of a white picket fence with her loving wife by her side but only when she's had 5 whisky sours? A woman is planning to marry prince charming. He is so wonderful in every way. Except...when he wants sex he grabs her head and pulls it down to his crotch. Is this just how men ask for sex these days? On the Magnum, Dan's suspicions are confirmed by science ONCE AGAIN. This time, he speaks with Dr. Becky Lynn about the effect marijuana has on female orgasm. And, hear the tale of the older gay man, his much younger Panamanian boyfriend and the worried daughter. 206-302-2064
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Welcome to the Real Doll Brothel.

Episode #633 — December 11, 2018

A woman had sex with a pre-op transwoman. But she didn't make the caller come, or even try. Now the caller wonders if this is a "vagina-bodied" vs "non vagina-bodied" problem, or just a "jerk" problem. A married gay man with kids begs Dan for a quick n' dirty guide on how to add a third partner into their relationship. How can they have adventures and maintain the sanctity of their family unit? On the Magnum version, check out Canada! They are slowly but surely opening sex doll & robot brothels. Is this gonna be ok? Dr. James Cantor, the Director of the Toronto Sexuality Center, is on to discuss the implications of this new phenomenon. Canada- you so freaky. A woman's sister is into drag, and wants to include the caller. The caller wants to dress up in female drag (even though she's a woman) but worries about culturally appropriating gay male culture's appropriation of women. Did you get all that? Spoiler! Dan tells her to chill out. High heels are super weird. 206-302-2064
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Is it racist to be a rice queen?

Episode #603 — May 15, 2018

A white man is dating an Asian man and tends to be attracted to Asian men. Does this make him a rice queen? Is it racist to be a rice queen? Can he learn to feel attraction toward other races? A straight man has a great girlfriend except for one little problem. She gives painful blowjobs with her sharp little teeth. After three long years, he's never complained. How can he explain what he likes down there? And on the Magnum, a man with staggeringly high libido (12 times per day sounds about right to him) is in a monogamous long-term relationship. What could go wrong? And, NOT on the Magnum, a guest who punked us good.
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F*ck Yes!

Episode #593 — March 6, 2018

A straight man knows he has the dreaded Madonna/Whore Complex. But how can he overcome it? A 47 year-old woman has just started working at a sex toy store, and loves her funky, kinky co-workers. But she's scared to invite them to her wedding for fear that mommy and daddy won't approve. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Emily Best, the force behind "F*ck Yes" -a new channel that offers up super-hot shorts showing how consent can be very sexy indeed. We love what they are doing, and you should check it out. And, did you know that Dan has some strong opinions about guns? The usually shy and retiring Dan Savage offers his take on the argument that "if you ban guns only criminals will have guns."
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Sex Toy Review! This one's HEAVY.

Episode #571 — October 3, 2017

Darling? Whatever shall we do at our coming trip to the Bondage Bed & Breakfast? A married woman gets busted by her husband for camming. She doesn't consider it cheating, and it gets her so, so horny. How can she reconcile with her husband and still get her camming rocks off? On the magnum, Dan brings back our regular guest, Erika Moen to go over a HEAVY sex toy you all should add to your arsenal. And, a man's sister is a former prison guard who started dating one of the inmates. He doesn't seem like the best person, and the caller is very worried about what will happens we he gets out. Yikes.
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When your partner has BPD.

Episode #540 — February 28, 2017

A woman's 61 year-old father confided that he has discovered kink. Should she help to connect him to kink resources when she herself is vanilla, and also...his daughter? A man worries that his attraction to East-Indian women might be racist. Dan helps unpack the complicated issues around attraction to specific races. On the Magnum, Dan talks with Randi Kreger, author and expert on Borderline Personality Disorder about dating someone with this unpleasant condition. And, all hail the Cuck-Queen! Dan chats with a woman who gets off on her husband sleeping with other women. Dan instructs her on the alchemical art of turning jealousy into lust.
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Episode 500! With David Schmader and Doc Barak.

Episode #500 — May 24, 2016

This is our 500th episode. And we’re just getting started! This week, Dan chats with stoner, writer and delightful person David Schmader about his book “Weed: The User’s Guide.” Speaking of green, Dan has a thing or two to say about the Green Party. A 24 year-old Texan woman worries that if she breaks up with her boooorrring boyfriend she’ll be called an “old maid.” And, guess who sashays in to harsh our mellow with “science?’ It’s Doc Barak! 206-302-2064 Thanks for listening for so long, you guys. Stick with us, won’t you?
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