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Depressed AND horny??!

Episode #706 — May 5, 2020

Have you ever done it hanging from a cliff in your mountain climbing harness? This caller has. They named the climb "Quarantine." Meanwhile in Italy, a woman managed to slip a finger in her boyfriend's butt. He didn't stop her, but didn't say anything about it, and they haven't discussed it since. How can she bring it up with him and resume this activity when they are reunited? On the Magnum, Dan chats with JoEllen Notte, author of "The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren't Having" about being an introvert during the pandemic, and how it IS possible to be both horny and depressed. A woman is dating a man who cares about his appearance, is capable of crying and makes her breakfast. IS HE GAY?
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Monogamy is looking pretty good!

Episode #701 — March 31, 2020

Just when you thought you understood the world, Dan chats with open relationships guru Tristan Taormino, to tell you to CLOSE IT UP. Monogamy is where it's at these days. Just for a while. A woman in a long distance relationship is trying to embrace video sex. But she worries that she doesn't look sexy when she's truly pleasuring herself. How can she learn to do the "performance" of video sex, and still get off? On the Magnum, Dan calls up Searah Deysach from the feminist sex-toy store Early to Bed, to talk about "sleeves." What are they? What are those bumps? Where can I get me one? And, a lesbian decided not to respond to a trans woman on a dating app. Does this make her a transphobic monster? 206-302-2064
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Paging Dr. Bummer...

Episode #700 — March 24, 2020

This week, Dan's guest is epidemiologist Daniel Westreich, who spells out the concept of physical distancing, and why sexual intimacy is going to be pretty difficult to attain for many of us. Some of the conversation is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum. A man asks if virtual reality porn makes sense to help "spice up your sex life." Why yes, it makes A LOT of sense right now. A woman who is engaged to be married to her boyfriend has a female friend. This friend made a drunken, predatory pass at her. Can/should she forgive and try to salvage the friendship? And, saddle up for this weird ride: A man is married to his wife. Cool, cool. They have an open relationship. No prob. She has a boyfriend. Nice. She lives with her boyfriend. Ok? He is not allowed to seek outside partners. Wait- what? Also, his wife's boyfriend forbids her from having sex with the caller, her husband. Soooooo. The caller needs a little chat from Dan Savage. Ring ring!
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A man is going through a divorce from his wife of 7 years. Although their breakup was peaceful, now her communication is curt and unfriendly. Is he entitled to feel angry about her unwarranted coldness? A man kindly lent a friend some money. Now she keeps asking him for more and more every month! Should he just set her up with a regular payment, or cut off the friendship? On the Micro and the Magnum version of the show, Dan chats with Dr. Wednesday Martin, author of Untrue, about women's libido, how it really works, and how our culture's misunderstanding harms relationships. A group of folks were disparaging "outie vaginas" at a party. One of the women there got awfully quiet. Did they offend her? Is this the equivalent of making fun of itsy-bitsy, teeny-tiny penises?
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Erika Moen's holiday sex toy picks!

Episode #686 — December 17, 2019

The show begins with an insecurity vampire. You know the kind. A person who sucks you dry with their endless need for praise and reassurance. This man is dating one, but is she entirely to blame? It's complicated. And, it's a wedding battle royale! In one corner we have our caller getting married to a man who has a child by a previous marriage- living out of town. In the other corner is the fiancé's mother, who wants to minimize contact between the kid and the caller. Whose side are you on? Grab some popcorn and listen in. On the Magnum, Santa's rollin' up! What's he got this time? Well, if he listens to resident sex toy expert Erika Moen (and he does,) out tumbles a massive cache of marital aids, including a cock sleeve that spins! A bullet vibe! A dual density dildo! "Sex in a Can! " And a Sex Machine. Like an actual machine. Not Santa himself. Is it January yet? And finally, a lesbian is in a stable, joyful, poly relationship. But she is grappling with a new partner in the scene, who has a medical condition that causes her to burp and fart all the time. It's driving the caller bonkers. She considers this a real torment. We consider it podcast gold. 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com
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A man went on a date and he felt fireworks. But later that she told him that wasn't feeling it, but wants to be friends. He doesn't need friends. He already has friends. Should he bother? This question is pretty simple. Her new lover has a gargantuan penis that is shaped like a sweet potato. How on earth is she supposed to accommodate him? On the Magnum version of the show, meet the woman who read every single one of Dan's newspaper columns since he started writing them in 1991. You could say she is a sex expert expert. She has some wisdom to share. And, a kinkster living in a repressed Asian country has a masochistic friend who asked him to arrange a very dangerous scene for her. How can he set this up and also keep her safe? OH, the Danger! 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com
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With Sex Workers' Rights Advocate- Elle Stanger.

Episode #681 — November 12, 2019

A woman wants her boyfriend to pee inside of her. Cool, cool. But he is pee shy! How can he get over it? A woman and her man love threesomes with women. But they don't want kids. Should they warn their unicorn that if she happens to get knocked up they will have no part in the parenting of her kids? Sssssexy! On the Magnum, Dan chats with worker's rights advocate Elle Stanger about the ongoing disaster that is SESTA/FOSTA. A 21 year-old man and his lady both live with their parents, and they have no place to make sweet love. So they do it in the car. But they keep getting caught, once by the police. Is it time to demand some privacy at home? How?
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With token straight man, Michael Ian Black.

Episode #679 — October 29, 2019

A tale of two subs: What to do when both people in a couple are submissive? Find one dom to rule them all? Take turns? A woman is super-duper annoyed that her Trump-lovin' brother is throwing a gender reveal party. Are they inherently unacceptable? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan casts about for a straight man to help him answer questions, and finds actor/comedian/author Michael Ian Black to discuss infidelity, betrayal and REVENGE. Also, a lesbian with Asperger's can't tell if her co-worker is flirting with her or not. Tricky stuff. 206-302-2064
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Is it common for straight men to be "secretly into dick?" Because that's what this woman's boyfriend is. A transwoman got together with a guy in a dungeon. But she forgot to tell him that she is trans. Her lover told her it would be wise to reveal this detail early on. Should she? Must she? On the Magnum, a middle-aged woman is too damn horny. Dan brings on the ever-helpful Dr. Debby Herbenick to see if there's a medical cause or source of relief. And, a "poly-minded" man is only poly-minded when he's the one who gets to shtup other people. He's aware of the hypocrisy. How can he get over it?
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A woman is tormented that her partner of 7 years has not learned how to pee without spraying the area. Dan's response is both charitable and practical. A 70 year-old man is in an open relationship with his wife. He is communicating with a 30 year-old woman online who lives out of town. How can he verify her identity without offending her? Also, he doesn't want to take advantage of her. But who will be taking advantage of whom? Now. Did you notice the episode number? On the Magnum, Dan interviews Lucien Greaves, founder of the Satanic Temple about the work they're doing to challenge our nation's shift toward a Christian theocracy. Dan and Lucien also handle a wedding etiquette question, assuring us that in Satanic weddings no gift is required. Lucien Greaves is one of our all-time favorite interviews and if you haven't yet sampled the Magnum version of the show- this is the one to try. Also, Dan counsels a woman who married the man she met at Burning Man. The problem? He doesn't like to fuck. Wut? 206-302-2064 Check out the "Hail Satan?" documentary here.
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